As a person who struggles with the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, it isn’t always easy. I have spent so many years fighting with my emotions and the roller coaster ride that they take me on. The constant questioning of everything that goes on in my mind. The fear of not being loved the way I deserve to be loved, or even the fear of losing the ones that I love. And the emotional extremes such as needing it all or not at all. That can make life very challenging at times.
Even though I have tried hard to live and work a normal life I still struggle at times with it. Being able to keep a job that deals with the public have really been hard. So much anxiety comes out when dealing with various people. I usually end up quitting or being let go because of unexcused days. This is one of the reasons why I have become a writer.
Tips That Have Helped Me
Talk Therapy
I have talked one on one with therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. It helped because I was able to get things that were bothering me out in the open. I also learned all of the tips below through the years of therapy that I had. I also joined in on group therapies for a short time. It was beneficial because I learned that I was not the only one struggling with this.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) -
It is a form of cognitive therapy created to help people who especially struggle with BPD. It teaches behavioral skills such as; distress tolerance; mindfulness; interpersonal effectiveness; and emotion regulation.
This therapy has helped me for years once I learned how to use it in my life. You may have heard me preach before about living in the now. That’s mindfulness. And even though the others are important, I strongly live by this one.
Also with BPD, learning emotion regulation has helped me. Being able to notice an emotion right away, analyze it, and if need be, change it. It sounds simple but in all honesty, it’s not always. I struggle with anxiety too so there are many times it is hard to change that.
Journaling
Writing down my thoughts, feeling, and things that happen in my life has also helped me. It helps to get things off my mind. When you write what you are thinking down on paper, it literally gets some of it out of your head. And when it’s out of your head you feel a little bit better. It also allows you to, later on, look at what you have written and learn from it.
Hobbies
Finding and doing something you enjoy helps. It takes your mind off the chaos of your life at least for a while. I personally enjoy art and crafts. I make jewelry sometimes and I used to paint and draw. Doing a hobby that you enjoy, makes you happy. And when you are happy, it makes the other less happy things in your life more bearable.
Taking Walks
I enjoy the water and the woods. So preferably when I want to take a walk I like to do it by the woods. Taking a walk is not only exercise but an emotional releaser. The fresh air and the focus on your surroundings relax your mind. And when your mind is relaxed, your emotions are relaxed.
Conclusion
To this day I still have some struggles but I can manage them for the most part. BPD is a challenge but it is manageable with the right understanding and tools. Talk therapy helped me a great deal but DBT is what has kept me going. Learning about yourself and your emotions is a huge part of coping with BPD. Do everything you can to educate yourself about it and other mental illnesses that might be a part of your life.
If you can find a group where others also deal with mental illness, it’s a good thing to get into. Being around people who understand your frustrations can believe it or not be comforting. Don’t be afraid to seek some kind of help if you are struggling, there is no shame in it.
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