We often forget that we need boundaries or that others have boundaries. To keep control of our lives we need to have boundaries set in place for anyone in our lives. For example, a neighbor isn't going to walk into your house unless invited in. That is an automatic boundary that most people already have in their minds. But you can set up your boundaries specifically to how you value your time.
Let’s say that you started to date a new person. The boundary that might be set would be to have you home before midnight. This lets the person know that your time is valuable to you, and that they need to respect that. You may also refuse to have them go into your home until the 5th date or so. When setting boundaries, you are allowed to stay firm in your decisions and even say no to anyone trying to persuade you differently.
You can come right out and tell them if you are not comfortable with something. Don’t be afraid to say that you won’t do that, or that it is not going to work for you. If that person does not understand, then they are not worth any more of your time. This can be said with your family as well. Just because they are family doesn’t mean that you can’t have boundaries.
Sometimes family situations can be tough because you don’t want to create waves, so to speak. That is understandable, but if boundaries are not set, your time can be taken for granted. Just let your family know that you love them and enjoy your time with them. If you have something planned, stay firm and let them know. Remember that your time is valuable and that no one has the right to misuse it without your permission.
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Sincerely,
Pennie